Sexuality, Intimacy, and Gender: 4 Resources You Need To Know About

Here we go, ya’ll. Only our fourth blog post and we’re already diving into tricky topics like sexuality. I want SIE to be a place where we can wrestle with the tough stuff. That’s why we’re diving into my top sexuality resources. I’m not very good at staying in the realm of light and fluffy conversation for too long! If you’ve heard increasingly more about things like sexuality and gender theory, but feel intimidated by these conversations, this blog post is for you.

Why Are We Talking About This?

I’ve said this before, but SIE is an overflow of what’s going on in my own life. These topics regarding sexuality have come up again and again in my conversations with my friends, co-workers, family, and others. If you want to stay up to date on the latest cultural, social, and ethical issues, topics regarding sexuality are at the top of the list.

I am convinced that followers of Jesus need to be well-versed in the topic of sexuality. Both from a Biblical perspective and in the conversations that are happening in the world today. You need only travel to your local middle (or elementary) school to hear conversations about gender fluidity, gender dysphoria, and gender identity happening on a daily basis. If you’re saying to yourself, “Jen, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t think this conversation is relevant for me,” here’s what I would say. The only difference between the frequency of the occurrence of this topic in my city vs. your city is time.

A Word For Parents

If you’re a parent, let me urge you to dig into these topics and take advantage of these resources. No matter your level of discomfort with these topics, if you don’t have these conversations with your kids, someone else will. And it’s not going to be when they’re 13, it’s likely going to be when they’re closer to age 6 or 7. It’s our responsibility to be the first ones to introduce difficult concepts to our children. They need help navigating the complexities of life. Peers and the internet are not suitable substitutes for the leadership and care of intentional parents.

My friend’s CrossFit coach used to say: “Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.” The only way to grow in your faith, fitness, relationships, or anything else is to work through the challenging stuff. I spent the better part of last year diving into researching this topic, so I’m sharing what I learned. My first hope is to help you get more knowledgeable when it comes to a Biblical view of sexuality. Secondly, I want you to be more comfortable engaging in these conversations as they will inevitably continue for years to come.

I also included a resource for how to navigate pornography when it comes to protecting our kids. Explicit images are something that our children are being exposed to at earlier ages than ever before. We can thank the internet and social media for that. Every parent needs to check out my resource for parenting in the age of pornography.

For more resources, check out my Parenting Resources page. I’ll continue to build on these as SIE continues to grow.

Something to Note

These resources are from a Christian perspective. If you’re not a follower of Jesus, you may not agree with where these individuals are coming from and that’s ok. I don’t expect people who aren’t following Jesus to have a natural desire to uphold a Christian sexual ethic. This post is for followers of Jesus who want to get a better handle on how to create a Biblical view of sexuality and have conversations about various dimensions of sexuality in the world.

If you want to here about how my faith has affected my life, check out this blog post.

Alright friends, let’s get started!

People To Be Loved: Why Homosexuality Is Not Just an Issue (Preston Sprinkle)

Preston Sprinkle is one of the best voices I have found when it comes to issues of sexuality. He’s a Bible scholar, has his PhD in New Testament, has taught theology courses at several universities, and is co-founder and president of The Center for Faith, Sexuality, & Gender. I haven’t heard anyone talk about topics of sexuality in such a thorough and humble way.

What I love about Preston is that he fights to present all sides of any topic and refuses to go along with the crowd. I heard him say on a podcast interview that it bothers him when everyone agrees and there is no alternative side or opinion represented in a conversation. He’s the kind of friend you need when you’re investigating any topic. I imagine he wouldn’t let you get away with coming to an opinion about anything without having some valid research and thoughtfulness behind your conclusions.

I haven’t found anyone else who balances loving people with upholding Biblical principles (to the best of his ability). Not to mention the time and effort he put into investigating what the latest psychological and scientific evidence has to say. Preston gets bonus points from this neurologic PT for going into some neuroscience talk.

About the Book

His book People to Be Loved is a must read. Let me give you a heads up about a few assumptions Preston makes as he investigates what the Bible has to say about marriage and homosexuality:

The Bible is the inerrant and inspired word of God, written by men through the power of the Holy Spirit.
The Bible is the primary source of truth and authority in our lives.

If you don’t agree with these beliefs, this book probably won’t pack much of a punch. Preston does a deep dive into what scripture says about sexuality and it reads like you’re in a seminary class for part of the book. The depth that he investigates the original language and the context of Greek culture is so helpful. He made me realize that Christians have always upheld a different sexual ethic than cultural norms. Maybe things aren’t so different today than they were during the time of the early church.

It’s so tough to balance truth and love, but Preston does it better than most people that I know. There’s no doubt that he’s a smart guy with a reverence for scripture, but he also has a deep love and compassion for people, too.

Preston presents multiple opinions and interpretations of scripture. He does share his conclusions, but it’s done in a very humble way and doesn’t pressure anyone to come to the same determination. He gives you the freedom to come to your own determinations and encourages everyone to do their own research on this topic. This book challenged me to thoroughly investigate any issue on my own before drawing a conclusion. I can’t recommend it enough, it’s a must read. You can find it here!

Embodied: Transgender Identities, the Church, and What The Bible Has to Say (Preston Sprinkle)

The topics of gender identity, gender fluidity, and transitioning are on the forefront as far as ethical and social issues go today. I’ve talked to so many people who feel intimidated and overwhelmed by this topic, which is why I’m going to tell you about Preston’s other book next. There is basic information regarding definitions and different schools of thought regarding gender identity which is helpful. I also appreciate the information he brings from neuroscience, psychology, and sociology to come alongside what the Bible has to say about this topics. Let me tell you some of the most helpful parts of this book.

Preston opens the book by talking about what it means to be human and that we have to know who we are before we can know who God wants us to be. He does a relatively deep dive into Biblical femininity and masculinity, as well as cultural gender norms and the role they play in this conversation.

The section on rapid onset gender dysphoria in teens is worth buying this book. He also has some great tips to help teens who struggle with isolation and how the church can be a healthy environment where teens can thrive and experience authentic community.

You’re probably going to be challenged and may disagree with Preston’s views on certain subjects, and that’s ok! What I believe is valuable is how he shows us how to investigate polarizing issues in light of the gospel. My goal is not for you to agree with everything you read, but for these resources to spark discussions in your homes, with your kids, and in your communities. For Christians, I want us to represent Jesus well in the middle of these difficult discussions. You can get the book here.

Where to Find Preston

You can follow Preston on Instagram or find more information on his website. He has a podcast called Theology in the Raw that has held some great discussions on a variety of sexuality topics. Be sure to check it out! I always thinks it helps to listen to someone on a podcast before reading their book. It helps give me a context for their personality and I can almost imagine their voice narrating as I read.

Dr. Juli Slattery and Authentic Intimacy

Our next sexuality resource to discuss is Authentic Intimacy. AI is an organization founded by Dr. Juli Slattery, a clinical psychologist whose primary goal is teaching on God’s design for sexuality and intimacy. I heard Dr. Slattery on a podcast and loved the way she respectfully discussed delicate matters of sexuality in a detailed and thorough manner. It’s truly an art to navigate these topics in a comprehensive way while also acknowledging the intimate nature of these topics.

The AI website has many resources on any topic about sexuality you could think of. There’s information about singleness and sexuality, sexual intimacy in marriage, healing after sexual trauma, pornography, and more. This is a must-have resource for anyone discipling and leading other people. I’m sure it would be a valuable resource for churches, too. AI runs the gammet on information and resources for just about any sexuality topic that you could think of.

Where to Find AI Resources

Check out the Authentic Intimacy Website for information on a wide variety of topics regarding sexuality. I recommend starting with the FAQs page. Dr. Slattery also has a podcast called Java with Juli which is a great resource as well.

Greta Eskridge and Parenting in the Age of Pornography

Greta is a wife and home school Mama of four kiddos who has made it her mission to educate and equip parents on how to protect kids from pornography. She also loves to travel the country sharing her
message of joyful, connected parenting. Greta does a beautiful job teaching how to talk to kids about this topic in an age-appropriate way. She highlights how we are made in the image of God as a way to help our kids understand how to respect other people and their bodies. The first place I found her was on the Intentional Parents podcast. These episodes were so helpful and informative. They are a must listen for any parent!

Greta also wrote a book about how to create meaningful memories with your kiddos. It’s called, “Adventuring Together: How To Create Connections and Make Lasting Memories With Your Kids.” I haven’t read this yet, but it’s on my list! Here is the link if you want to check it out:

She also has a brand new children’s book available for preorder called, “100 Days of Adventure: Nature Activities, Creative Projects, and Field Trips for Every Season.” I know we were supposed to be talking about sexuality, but now I’m excited to dive into these books and plan some fun adventuring with my kiddos! Click the picture for the link to the book.

Where to Find Greta

I highly recommend listening to the Intentional Parenting Podcast Episodes on Parenting in the Age of Pornography. Check out Episode 1 here and Episode 2 here. Greta is also active on Instagram so go say hello to her @maandpamodern. For all of Greta’s resources or to book her for a speaking event, check out Greta’s website here. I promise you, you will love her!

Let’s Wrap it Up

There is so much more that we could talk about when it comes to the topic of sexuality. If you have questions after checking out these resources, reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or email me at sheisemboldened@gmail.com. Depending on the level of interest and how many questions I get, this may be a good topic for a YouTube discussion. Let me know all of your questions and thoughts!

Let’s Connect

Come say hello on Instagram and Facebook!