Should You Tell Your Kids The Truth About Santa?
What better way to end our yearly content than with a controversial topic like how we approach Santa with our kiddos? Should you tell your kids the truth about Santa?
If you know me, I kind of THRIVE on tackling difficult topics and wrestling through the nuances of it all. Pros, cons, you name it. I had already had this topic in my brain for the end of the year, and then the last few weeks I’ve seen SO MANY questions online about Mamas asking people how they Santa Claus that I knew I had to write it!
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Here’s The Important Thing…
I’m going to give you the why and how we approach all things Santa with our kiddos, but here is the really important thing. No matter what side of the Santa debate you’re on, the main thing I want you to do is to be intentional and know why you’re doing what you’re doing. Intentional parenting takes time and thoughtfulness, and this topic about Santa is no different!
Do not, I repeat, do not make a choice based on what everyone else is doing or what your parents did. (Or even what we do, ha!) I’ll have some reflection questions at the end to help you come to a conclusion about how you want to handle Santa with your family.
Here we go! Let’s talk about if you should tell your kids the truth about Santa.
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Did Our Parents Tell Us The Truth About Santa?
I grew up in a home with a traditional Santa presentation, meaning, I believed he was real until around first or second grade when I finally asked my dad if it was true. I was a pretty thoughtful and perceptive kiddo, so it’s not surprising to me that I had my doubts at an early age. (Even though I had a big imagination!) I absolutely loved the magic of Christmas growing up and it was always my favorite holiday, partially because of Santa. BUT, I also loved so many other family traditions including our yearly Christmas program at church, driving around to see Christmas lights, spending time with family, singing Christmas songs with my grandpa, baking Christmas cookies, and decorating for Christmas. For me, several things contributed to the magic of the season.
My husband did not grow up believing Santa is real. He had gifts on Christmas morning that he knew were from his parents, and his perspective is that he also absolutely LOVED Christmastime. He said he loved their Christmas morning tradition of the kids being allowed to open one gift and their stockings before they woke their parents up at 7am (good call mom and dad!) They had a special, “pull-apart cake” (if you’re on the email list, you’ve got the recipe!) Christmas morning and he loved the time he spent with his extended family on Christmas day as well.
Did We Tell Our Kids The Truth About Santa?
Reminder, our kids are almost 6, 4, and 1, so we’ve only had to handle this topic for the last few years and we’ve had the most conversations with our oldest kiddo.
We do not tell our kids that Santa is real. I’ll let that sink in for a minute if it was shocking to you! Don’t panic if you haven’t made the same choices as us, this will not be a Santa-bashing article. Let me share our thoughts with ya about why we wanted to tell our kids the truth about Santa:
Here’s What We Told Our Kids About Santa
We took a page from our first small group leader’s book and approached Santa just like any other character in our children’s lives. Whether it’s Mickey Mouse, Paw Patrol, you name it, Santa falls under this character category. (Also, Mark and Alison, if you’re reading this, we are constantly in awe of how much you’ve influenced our walk with Jesus and parenting. So thankful for you!!!)
How did they respond? Last year, my son just insisted Santa was real no matter what we said. (And that was fine, I don’t constantly remind them the Paw Patrol isn’t real when they’re using their imagination, so we let it go and they still knew presents were from mom and dad). This year, our six-year-old has brought up nonchalantly how Santa isn’t real, and then goes back to playing with his sister as they use their imagination to talk about Santa, The Polar Express, and all of Santa’s reindeer.
Even though our kiddos have heard Santa isn’t real, they are no less excited about the idea of Santa. We even did the Polar Express train ride as a family this year because it was a fun way to start the Christmas season. So likely, we probably aren’t fitting many of the stereotypes of the people who tell their children that Santa isn’t a real person, climbing down their chimney, and bringing gifts on Christmas Eve.
Why Did We Choose To Tell Our Kids The Truth About Santa?
There’s a lot of cultural pressure to go along with the Santa narrative, so why did we choose to take a different path? Here are a few reasons we wanted to tell our kids the truth about Santa. (I also included a few thoughts a friend had when I talked to her about this topic).
1. We Wanted To Keep The Focus On Jesus During Christmas
Now, don’t get me wrong, it is INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT to keep my own heart and mind on Jesus during December even knowing Santa isn’t real. Even if you don’t tell your kids Santa is real, it will still be difficult to keep the focus on Jesus. Why?
If you’re honest, even during “ordinary times” of the year it’s hard to stay focused on God. We keep ourselves so busy that it’s easy to not make the time to read our Bibles, spend time in prayer talking to God, or turn our attention towards Him. This is even more difficult during the holidays because there are SO MANY OPTIONS for events, traditions, etc. as far as how you can spend your time, energy, and attention. Because the holiday season is already full of so many things, we didn’t want to add one more distraction when Santa was something we could easily opt-out of.
I heard author Rebecca McClaughlin talking about how the news of the gospel is too important to overlook during the Christmas season. We have the hope that the world needs, and if we pass up opportunities at Christmas when people may be more open to the truth about Jesus, we’ve surely missed out. She quoted C.S. Lewis when he said,
“Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance, the only thing it cannot be is moderately important.
C.S. Lewis
2. We Didn’t Want To Not Tell The Truth
This was a personal conviction for me. I just wasn’t comfortable affirming my children’s beliefs that Santa was a real person who brought gifts for children all over the world. This is touchy because I don’t want parents who “do Santa” to feel like I’m calling them out for lying to their kids, this is just me voicing how I felt about the whole situation.
I heard a pastor talk about the difference between secrets and surprises before, so I’m not sure if that could apply to the Santa situation. A secret is something that is never shared, and a surprise is something that you will eventually share. If you view handling Santa as a “surprise,” for your kids (that lasts several years I suppose?), you could make a case that you are not, in fact, lying to your kids. But I don’t know what to think about that take on it!
Honesty is a value in our household, and at the end of the day, I didn’t feel comfortable building a narrative around something that wasn’t true. But that’s just how I felt about it! Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments about this in particular.
3. Materialism And Self-Focus
Our kids (like most) can tend to obsess over the concept of gifts at any opportunity. For us, we felt like spending time, energy, and effort talking about Santa and going to great lengths to show signs of his existence was not something that would be helpful for our kids’ hearts.
Now, there is a HUGE spectrum of how much families focus, talk about, and spend time and money on the Santa narrative. It’s possible that this reason is null and void for some of you who take a more subtle approach to Santa. I’ve just seen my kiddos become consumed with looking forward to gifts, which also makes them focus solely on themselves for several days-weeks leading up to an event. We didn’t feel like Santa would help them fight materialism and consider others during this season.
Now, very importantly, even if you don’t do Santa, you will have to fight against materialism and self-focus in your kids (and yourself) during this season and every other! Taking away Santa is not a magic pill to suddenly have you and your family be generous and self-sacrificing. It is simply a factor to consider in the broad theme of Christmas when it becomes the main Christmas event for your family.
4. The Naughty Or Nice List
Credit goes to my friend Tabby, (who also happened to write this article for SIE!) for considering the message of the naughty and nice list. Once again, some families emphasize this more or less to their kiddos, but let’s actually unpack the message we’re sending here.
- If you do good things, you’ll get good things
- If you do bad things, you won’t get good things
Tabby pointed out how this message is actually the exact OPPOSITE of the gospel. The message of the gospel is that we get what we DON’T deserve. We get salvation and a relationship with the God of the universe because of what Jesus did for us. We don’t EARN good things, every good thing we get is from God.
It’s interesting thinking about setting up this line of thinking at an early age because I feel like I know many adults who generally think that good things will happen to them if they are generally “a good person” and bad people get the things they deserve. If you live long enough, you’ll come to find that isn’t true.
If We Don’t Do Santa, What Traditions Do We Have At Christmas?
Despite not making Santa a central part of our Christmas each year, we have several fun and meaningful traditions together as a family! (For the full list of ideas, join our email list and I’ll shoot you all of the SIE Christmas traditions as well as an E-book of favorite family recipes!) Here are a few of them:
1. Daily Advent Rhythms
I’ve done the She Read Truth Advent devotionals for the last few years and my husband is actually reading along with me this year which has been so fun! (They have devotionals for men, but they were the same reading plan so we skipped spending that extra $ and are sharing mine instead).
For our kids, we do a Jesse Tree devotional and ornament for each day in December. My biggest recommendation for keeping your focus on Jesus during this season is a daily rhythm. My second biggest recommendation would be creating space to think and celebrate Him. Learn to say “no” to the fluff and “yes” to the important stuff!
2. Serving Together As A Family
We always wanted to make serving others part of our holiday tradition because if I’m honest, it’s so easy to get wrapped up in myself and what I want for the holidays. One of the best ways for me to keep my heart focused on Jesus is to serve the people around me.
This year, our community group is serving with the Salvation Army and we are also supporting a refugee family through Christmas gifts this year. For our kiddos, I think I’m going to have them make cards for a local nursing home or even the patients at the hospital where I work. It’s a simple way to get them focused on others this year.
For more serving ideas, check out our latest Thanksgiving Article for more tips!
3. Christmas Fun
We have a few things we do that bring fun to the holiday season! We’ll drive around to look at Christmas lights with some hot chocolate, popcorn, and Christmas music playing in the background. There are always special treats to be baked to share with friends and family. We decorate our home for Christmas and somehow I have become the household that now has Christmas inflatables in the front yard. (I know, I don’t know how this happened either!)
We spend time with family and friends who mean the world to us. I actually think it’s so incredibly important to have fun together as a family! There’s something about fun and laughing together that strengthens relationships and creates memories that last for years to come. We also started our first, “sibling gift exchange” this year (courtesy of the dollar tree and homemade crafts) and I LOVE this opportunity for our kiddos to love on each other a bit.
If you need some help with your Christmas shopping, make sure you check out our GIFT GUIDES HERE!
So Whether You Decide To Tell Your Kids The Truth About Santa Or Not…
I hope that you’ll know that it’s not really about Santa as much as it’s about living your life in a way that helps you get to where you want to go. Santa isn’t as powerful as we think he is, there are plenty of other things that can stress you out, distract you, and take you where you don’t want to be this holiday season.
I hope more than anything this article empowers you as a parent to make intentional decisions to raise your kiddos in a way that aligns with your family’s values and goals. You have SUCH an impact on these sweet tiny humans!!! Make the most of each day.
Thankful for you!
