A Post-Easter Reflection for the Disappointed, Lonely, and Betrayed
Have you been disappointed or betrayed by someone you love? Have you been lonely in the midst of suffering? This blog post is for you.
Lately, I’ve had more conversations than ever with people who have experienced relational pain, loss, and tension.
We just wrapped up an Easter season that seemed to fly by in the midst of illness, injury, and more for my family. I want to let you in on some beautiful insights the Lord gave me this year as I read through the story of Good Friday.
Jesus’ physical pain was sandwiched between relational pain, desertion, and betrayal by those closest to Him. We tend to focus on the physical pain of Christ, which was tremendous. His physical suffering was compounded by relational suffering on His way to His death.
On His way to the cross He experienced both physical pain and relational pain. I’m going to highlight the relational pain that Jesus experienced, but know that in between all of these, He experienced physical beatings, torture, and immense suffering in His body. For a Biblical view on suffering and resources to help you, check out this blog post I wrote earlier this year.
If you’ve ever been disappointed by someone you trusted, I hope you find encouragement in knowing that Jesus has been there, too.
Let me recap the events for you and show you what I mean:
Disappointed by the Disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane
Have you ever experienced close friends or family failing to support you in a time of great need? Even after you tell them how they can best support and care for you? Jesus does.
He expresses His need and desire for their support and they fail miserably, succumbing to their human need for rest and comfort. Not to mention, these are His three closest friends and comrades in ministry.
Jesus is in so much emotional distress as He thinks about the suffering that He is about to endure that He experiences what many people think to be hematohidrosis. This is a condition that results in literally sweating blood in response to extreme stress. He asks His friends three times to stay awake and pray with Him to prepare Himself spiritually, mentally, and emotionally for what is to come. They fall asleep every time and leave Him alone. And this is just the beginning of how the disciples disappointed Jesus on His way to the cross.
The Betrayal of Judas
I think most people know this part of the story, but let’s reflect on who Judas was. He wasn’t in Jesus’ inner circle of three closest friends, but he’s definitely in the closest twelve. Think through the second tier of closest relationships you have.
These are the people who do life with you on a weekly basis. They eat meals with you, travel with you, do ministry with you, and have been present for every major event in your life over the last few years. That’s Judas.
Judas chooses money and a hunger for power over loyalty to Jesus. It seems he jumps ship when He realizes that the kingdom of Jesus looks more like being a servant and less like being rich and powerful. He looks for the people with the money and power and strikes a deal with them. The pain of Judas’ betrayal was only trumped by the pain Jesus felt when Judas took his own life.
Peter’s Denial of Jesus
Peter is in the innermost circle of Jesus. Not only is he one of only three people who had the privilege of being the closest to Jesus, he also happened to be the loudest advocate for Jesus’ ministry in the group. Peter is the unnamed leader of the disciples, acts as their spokesperson, and is the first to proclaim his loyalty to Jesus at any moment he deems necessary.
Think about the person who is most vocal about their love and loyalty to you. The one who will defend you at all costs if anyone comes against you and seemingly would do anything for you. That is Peter.
So what happens? When Jesus is arrested, Peter denies knowing him at all. A seemingly unimportant and non-threatening servant girl is the one who gets Peter to deny His Lord and friend.
I actually wonder if this was more painful than Judas’ betrayal because of Peter’s zeal for following Jesus and the fact that He was in Jesus’ innermost circle. Which betrayal would have disappointed Him most?
A Son Separated from His Father
It’s on the cross where we see the loneliness and desertion in Jesus’ life come to a climax. This is the moment that He is separated from God. From the beginning of time, Jesus had perfect union, communication, and relationship with God. He forfeits that for us, the people who would put their trust in Him. Jesus separated Himself from God on the cross so that those who trusted in Him would never have to be separated from Him. He experienced what it feels like to be disappointed by the people closest to you. People you have loved and invested in for years. After suffering immense physical, emotional, mental, and relational pain, He is totally alone. And He did that for us.
My Encouragement for You
I’ve had more conversations with people lately about their experiences with relational loss, betrayal, and disappointment. People they thought they could trust became untrustworthy. Others walked away from their friendship without a conversation. Misunderstandings of their intentions were made with no room for grace. Efforts they made to build a relationship were never reciprocated. Promises to stay in touch when someone moved went unmet without conversation.
These are all stories I’ve heard recently and I think disappointment in relationships is something that we don’t talk about enough.
We are going to hurt each other and let each other down. God is the only one who can perfectly know and love you. Jesus is the only one who went through every relational hurt perfectly and without sin. He is the one who can relate and understand us when we end up disappointed and hurt in our relationships. God empathizes with our pain and provides comfort when we need it. He loves us perfectly, even when we have loved imperfectly.
A Suffering Savior
Jesus is the only One who suffered for His people. No other god, deity, or king has ever done that for their people. In the great reversal, the King dies for His Kingdom. The innocent dies for the guilty.
I hope this provides encouragement if you’re a follower of Jesus and curiosity if you’re skeptical about the person of Jesus. He is the place to find perfect love, comfort, and peace. He is constant and His love never fails us.
If you want to learn how to build deeper relationships, check out my blog posts on building friendships and community here.
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